Homeless

I don't know why I haven't posted about this before as it is such a prevalent issue I have been facing in the past several months.

You, my dear reader, don't know me. Or perhaps you do but you may not and, as such I should tell you something of myself. Something that you couldnt know from my previous posts. You know some of my personality, how I go back and forth between things that seemingly have no connection, how my mind wanders so often, you know that part of me better than anyone. What you don't know are the facts. I am here today to set them straight.

You wouldn't know by looking at me but I am homeless. I have been told, by those who know of my past, that I wear my troubles well. I am inclined to believe them. When I am sad or upset or frustrated you probably cannot tell unless I am VERY sad or upset or frustrated. I suppose that is a good thing. Anyways, back to my main point. Homeless.

I am homeless and have been since February of 2011. No I don't live on the street and I am not a beggar, most homeless people aren't. You have to be really really poor to live on the streets, or friendless. Lucky for me I am not friendless. Don't get me wrong, there are challenges to being homeless. For 1, if you are anything like me, you want to pay back the people who help you, those who feed you and shelter you and give you rides. But you probably don't have the money to afford that, and a thank you just doesn't seem enough.

For 2, again if you are anything like me, you hate all of the change that is happening around you. You can only stay in one place for so long, you can't stay in one place for months so there is no reason for you to unpack (your just going to move again) and as you go from one place to another the rules all change. You feel strange taking other peoples food. You feel strange sleeping on someone else's bed. Then some families are actually families. They read together, play games together, pray together. You aren't sure if you should be allowed to participate in these activities but you feel rude if you don't. Some of the places you live want you to help them around the house, but you don't know where things go. Some places don't want you to lift a finger. Some invite you to use whatever you want but you aren't sure that is a good idea.

and For 3. For three you know that your family has abandoned you. Your family has completely left you without resources. You cannot rely on them to be there when you need them the most. They wont be at your graduation. They wont help you to pay for college. You cannot afford a prom ticket so you don't get to go to that. You miss out on so many things that your family should have helped you do. That is what I believe to be the absolute worst part of homelessness. You just don't belong where you used to. You have to find a new place for yourself.

I have to say I have done a good job at adjusting. It is hard I will admit but I have done my best. In fact, I have become very adaptable, a skill I am sure I will need in the future. Maybe that is why this was supposed to happen to me. I needed to learn how to accept things as they some and change. Adapt. I never really thought of it that way until now. I like that I have learned a useful skill out of all of this, something aside from learning how to prioritize and budget my money more wisely. Well it is late and I am finishing up with watching Jane Eyre with Rachel. I am going to do that now and, with a little luck I will come up here and be able to go straight to sleep. *Fingers crossed* GOODNIGHT